Per (the Authorised) Version

“Would you believe that some women take pictures of themselves naked, for the pleasure of strange men?”

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

In the year or so since my divorce I’ve used mostly vanilla dating apps, so kink is a common topic of conversation on a second or third date, which then turns out to be the last date when otherwise promising men ghost me. But sometimes the subject comes up on the first date…

John’s profile had potential: he was a mid-forties police officer, fit, smartly dressed, and into reading, cooking, and hiking. More importantly, he gave off those subtle Dom vibes. When I messaged him he was polite enough, and we arranged to meet in the park on Sunday afternoon.

We got lucky with the weather, so we ate ice cream, fed the ends of our cones to the ducks, sat on a bench and talked. Really talked. I felt a connection almost immediately, so I slid closer, and I loved the confident way he put his arm around me.

But then the conversation turned to his ‘type’. I was his type, apparently: classy. He told me there weren’t many classy women using dating apps. The last woman he’d met had suggested going back to her place for coffee after their third date. He wasn’t comfortable with that, but he liked her, so he went. He petted her dog, drank her coffee, and let her kiss…